Diary of Mycroft Homes
by jellyunbrella
Summary: An brief insight into the life of Mycroft Homes. Some extracts from the period of his life in which he kept a diary. One Shot.


**March 19th**

Dear diary. Well that's how people start these things isn't it. I really do not see the need for this, it will only encourage my younger brother to find it and read it.

However I have promised someone close to me that I would at least attempt this, and no I shall not include their name, you'll have to try harder than that dear brother.

I am not in the habit of allowing the world access to my thoughts; it goes with the job really. I have an excellent memory and so can keep things secret with ease. Which like I say is key in my line of work. However I have been informed on several occasions that this makes me inhuman and doomed to lead a solitary life. And although I do not see this as an issue, there are certain individuals who will not let me be until I am "happy".

I have thought about writing a paper on people's perception of happiness and how they a wrong on several levels. But then I remember, I am not my brother.

That was a joke, did you like it? I found it rather amusing; see I am smiling right now. And if you don't stop reading, Sherlock, then I will make more.

**March 20th**

Dear diary, today I had a cinnamon roll for breakfast. It was delicious.

**March 22nd**

Dear diary, I had a bagel with cream cheese today for lunch. Most enjoyable lunch I have had in a while.

**March 23rd**

Dear diary, decided to treat myself to a steak this evening. Wasn't a very good choice. Very dry and unflavoured.

**March 24th**

I have been informed that this is not a food diary, and should not be treated as such. Apparently I have to write about the day's events and people I have met.

I don't even have to start the thing "dear diary" unless I have some desire to connect with an inanimate object. Which I don't.

One last thing diary, I didn't eat anything worth writing about today.

**March 25th**

Today was one of those days, where you let your mind wonder, and you end up somewhere unexpected. Today I ended up wondering what my brother would look like with John's moustache. It was disturbing, I hope I never find myself down that trail if though again.

**March 26th**

Today has been a nightmare. Firstly the car was late, which meant I was late to the office. And I am never late to the office. This meant I didn't have time for my morning tea and had to start the day off with just a biscuit.

Then at lunch the new intern got my order wrong so I had to eat my beef without any carrots. The humanity.

And now I find out that my little brother has got himself into a bit of a scrape and needs me to go back into the office to bail him out. He knows fully well that this kind of discrepancy in my daily routine will take days to put right. Although if I don't go soon John will pay me a visit, and I can't be dealing with him right now.

**March 27th**

Woke up this morning with an awful headache. Are all little brothers this annoying? I'm not sure if I want to know the answer. He'd just find some way to gloat.

Decided to wear my favourite three piece, in a feeble attempt to brighten my day. At least the crossword had a decent clue for once.

**March 28th**

Had to get my hair cut today. Which became quite a chore as my hair dresser has relocated to Brazil, leaving me with his apprentice who does not know the value of silence.

I shall have to look into getting a barber for Diogenes. I'm sure I won't be the only one who would benefit from a silent barber. I will have to look into that tomorrow.

**March 29th**

Held auditions for the new Barber today. Limited skills on show, but we found our guy. It took several hours, but at least it was a refreshing break from the office.

Tomorrow is going to be interesting. Not sure what room to turn into a Barber Shop. I shall have a word with the architect in the morning.

**March 30th**

Meet with the architect today. Lucky he had the sense to listen to me when it came to structure. I do not want anything collapsing. Again. It will be a while until I trust an American architect again.

I'll be turning my hand to interior design tomorrow. I finally have something creative to stimulate my brain.

**March 31st**

I am finding it hard to understand how America has such beautiful buildings as all the American architects and interior designers I have spoken with today couldn't tell a pillar from a pillow.

I am in need of turning to Italy and France in hope for some sanity.

**April 1st**

I had a visit from my brother today, just as he does every year. Except this year he had the nerve to bring John.

As much as I have learnt to tolerate John. I do not enjoy him expanding into my private life.

Sherlock's prank was extremely sloppy this year, which I entirely blame on John's presence. I do hope he enjoys the little something I put together for him at Baker Street.

It's not that I wish to scare John away from my brother. Far from it, he has been extremely instrumental in helping Sherlock stay out of harm's way, as it were. I just want to let him know that there are certain aspects of Sherlock's life that need not concern him. Traditions that he would not understand, and should therefore not be involved in. If only I could make my brother see this too.

**April 2nd**

Think I may be going mad. I am seeing throw cushions everywhere I look. Tassels hanging from the lights. Fabric covered appliances. Feathers all over the floor.

On the bright side I have finished putting together the portfolio to take into work tomorrow. I even managed to locate the corgi charms, but even that is giving too much away.

**April 3rd**

Sherlock paid an extra visit last night. I don't think he cared much for my little prank on John. I do not much care for what he did either. It took me ten years to locate that waistcoat. It will be avenged. Mark my words.

**April 4th**

This means war.

**April 5th**

I will not surrender

**April 6th**

Victory has been claimed by a third party. Mother got wind that I was picking on Sherlock and came over for a "chat". To rub salt in the wound she took my umbrella home with her.

**April 7th**

I bet she didn't take anything of Sherlock's. She probably didn't even go round to see him. She's always telling me that because I am seven years his senior I should be the one looking after him. That I shouldn't tease him so.

If only she know the length that I go to, to keep my darling little brother from jail, or worse. The more elaborate his meddlings with society came, the higher up I had to climb. I became the government just to keep him safe.

**April 8th**

Had to use the emergency umbrella today. Just wasn't the same. Have booked tomorrow off for the rescue mission.

**April 9th**

The rescue mission was a success. Luckily the parents decided on a pub lunch today, so I managed to recover my umbrella without any contact.

To celebrate I treated myself to the last glass of my favourite wine at Diogenes.

**April 10th**

Sherlock texted me with another one of his mad theories today. He claims to have found a previously undiscovered colour hidden between green and blue. This is of cause ridiculous.

He said that he was messing around with his chemistry set, when it occurred to him that green and blue were too different to be next to each other in the rainbow. So he did some experiments and lo and behold there is another colour sitting there just waiting to be found.

I told him the colour he is looking at is called turquoise and has been around for millions of years, and then blocked his phone. This isn't the first new colour he has discovered, he found mauve the night before he was 10.

**April 11th**

Had Sherlock waiting for me outside my office this morning, test tube in hand. It is a time like this I wish John kept him on a leash. He showed me the "new colour" and although it was not in fact turquoise it was cerulean, which despite being a rather lovely colour already exists in the colour chart and was first referred to in 1590.

It took 10 minutes to convince Sherlock that he does not have a "breakthrough in modern art" on his hands, and that he should probably get back to Baker Street and clean up his mess a bit before John wakes up and has one of his turns.

**April 12th**

Cannot stop thinking about mauve and cerulean. I got some fabric and paint samples delivered, next thing you know I have redesigned my second living room.

**April 13th**

Could not help myself. I went fabric shopping at lunch. I got so carried away I would have missed my afternoon meeting if it had not been pushed back an hour.

**April 14th**

Very hectic day today. Had to cancel several meetings due to a burst water main. This did however mean that I could get to Diogenes nice and early.

**April 15th**

We opened the Barber Shop at Diogenes today, with great success. We even hired a Barber Shop Quartet to sing on the street outside.

Naturally I wanted to set the example and be the first to have a shave. However there was such a rush that we are now booked up for the rest of the month.

**April 16th**

Now that the Barber Shop is up and running, I can really start to turn my hand to accounting, as the financial year has just ended it is now my job to look over ever thing for the final time before it is filed away never to be seen again. I have been putting this off for a while now, but it should only take a few days, as long as the folk we got in this year are better than last year.

**April 17th**

Still knee deep in accounts. They made a real mess of them this year. It is hard enough deciphering their handwriting, but on top of that they seem to be using a completely different base system to the rest of the world. Luckily with my maths skills I have no need to use a calculator or this could take me years to correct.

**April 18th**

I am starting to have that dream again. It is not quite a nightmare, though it has the same effect, except it does not stop when I wake up.

It is the one where numbers start to multiply, more and more of them getting bigger and bigger until they fill up my brain, they fill up the room, the world. And I can't stop them. The only way to stop them is to work my way back to the number 7. But I can't. I never can. There are just too many numbers. They are everywhere.

**April 19th**

I have finished the books. Maybe tonight I will sleep.

**April 20th**

I bought a new treadmill today. This one has clearer buttons than my last one, and is small enough to be about to fit my yoga mat next to, with plenty of room for movement.

I have also started a new regime. This one includes both yoga and jogging, as well as allowing me to have a roast on Sunday's.

**April 21st**

The new regime is a lot to get used to. I do not wish to fall asleep in the Hero Pose again; my knees are already in bad shape. I may need to be stricter about my hour of yoga.

**April 22nd**

Managed to stay awake throughout yoga today. Though I did catch fifty winks at lunch. I hope I am sleeping better soon, and that it isn't the new regime that has caused this. I am starting to enjoy my yoga before bed.

**April 23rd**

Things are starting to heat up at work, with the elections next month everyone is started to feel the pressure. I need to find a therapist soon. I found our top candidate in tears today. Maybe I'll ask John for Ella's number, she seems to know what she is doing.

**April 24th**

I had the dream again last night. I hope this is not becoming a regular thing.

**April 25th**

Today I had a meeting. It was unexpected and did not last for very long. These types of meetings are not uncommon. But this meeting was. There was something about it that just didn't feel right. Something was wrong, and I couldn't work out what. I still can't and that is what worries me.

It is at times like this where I would usually sit for hours in my favourite chair and work it all out. But this time is different. This time I can think straight. I cannot even begin to work out what is wrong.

Something isn't right. And it's not just the meeting. I think it might be me. I have thought about going to see a doctor. But the only one I would trust on this is John, and I have no wish to worry my brother with such matters.

No. I shall sit here a little longer. Mind over matter. That's all it is. I just need to free up some space in my mind. I have seen Sherlock do it countless times. I have of cause never needed to myself. My brain capacity is far larger. But throwing out a bit of junk now and then never hurt anyone now. Did it?

* * *

**Author's**** Note: I don't own Sherlock**


End file.
